Why I won’t eat your shit

Kids, stay healthy: drink piss and shove tubes up your ass!

Alright, the producers of this hilarious BBC documentary (don’t miss it) may have gone out of their way to find the subjects for this film, but its undeniable that the health diet industry has become massive in recent years. The promoters of all those diets are sending out messages that are at least as much about identity as they are about health. They tell us: “You are what you eat.” Note: if you really were what you eat, you would be a completely different person every 8 year. Come to think of it, it has a ring of truth… but I digress.

The only point I wanted to make here is that all of those supposedly miracle diets are toxic memes. As this presentation by Dan Buettner explains very well, any diet can only work for a very small percentage of a population. The only things that works universally are staying active (not sports) and lowering calorie intake. Bread doesn’t kill you. Neither does cheese nor meat. Our stomachs are able to eat things that cannot be found in pre-agricultural nature, thanks to the wonders of evolution. Naturally, lactose intolerant Asians shouldn’t feed their infants cow milk but nobody has to tell them because they already know that. Talentless stars shouldn’t rave about their diets on TV (they may develop an eating disorder), because if you think you have found what works for you and the 35 trillion cells in your body, it doesn’t mean it works for a completely different set of 35 trillion cells. Dogs can’t eat chocolate and I can’t snack on their shit, but at least with them, you don’t have to hear about it. PLUS, watching them eat can really cut your apetite: now there’s great way to lose weight!


4 responses to “Why I won’t eat your shit

  1. u are rite..I almost threw up my breakfast after clicking on that last pic… :S

  2. Taleb in The Black Swan, explains why even the well-meaning doctors can make massive mistakes when they advocate for one-for-all solutions. They don’t know what they don’t know…

    “The same with the dietary fiber found in fruits and vegetables: doctors in the 1960s found it useless because they saw no immediate evidence of its necessity, and so they created a malnourished generation. Fiber, it turns out, acts to slow down the absorption of sugars in the blood and scrapes the intestinal tract of precancerous cells. Indeed medicine has caused plenty of damage throughout history, owing to this simple kind of inferential confusion. I am not saying here that doctors should not have beliefs, only that some kinds of definitive, closed beliefs need to be avoided—this is what Menodotus and his school seemed to be advocating with their brand of skeptical-empirical medicine that avoided theorizing. Medicine has gotten better—but many kinds of knowledge have not. Evidence By a mental mechanism I call naïve empiricism, we have a natural tendency to look for instances that confirm our story and our vision of the world—these instances are always easy to find. Alas, with tools, and fools, anything can be easy to find. You take past instances that corroborate your theories and you treat them as evidence. For instance, a diplomat will show you his “accomplishments,” not what he failed to do. Mathematicians will try to convince you that their science is useful to society by pointing out instances where it proved helpful, not those where it was a waste of time, or, worse, those numerous mathematical applications that inflicted a severe cost on society owing to the highly unempirical nature of elegant mathematical theories. “

  3. And now for some good common sense advice from Cracked.com’s top 10 list of things they should’ve taught you in school:

    You’ll spend many dollars on bullshit exercise equipment that promises to make working out “easy.” You’ll jump on diet fads, eating a bunless hamburger with a knife and fork one week, eating nothing but cabbage soup the next.

    Each and every one of these will fail (the success rate for dieters over the long term is close to 0 percent ) because they’re all based on the utterly false premise that you can lose weight without ever feeling sore or hungry or some other negative sensation. It is not possible. (…) Your body will get really mad at you when you try to lose weight , because it thinks you’re starving to death. You have to go into any weight loss plan knowing that you will suffer, and just have to man up in preparation for it. Otherwise, just live with it. Being fat isn’t the end of the goddamned world.

    Chapters Include:

    I. Hunger is Fat Leaving the Body;
    II. Eating Three Square Meals a Day Will Absolutely Make You Fat if You Sit in a Chair All Day;
    III. Have You Considered Walking Instead of Driving;
    IV. How to Dress in Ways That De-Emphasize Your Fatness.

    Source: http://m.cracked.com/site?t=SS7UfmGvK.KJ-SboAhIIpg&sid=cracked

  4. Since I get a lot of shit traffic, I thought I’d redirect them to a special place:

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